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The Identity Trap of Negative Thinking
The self-fulfilling prophecy aspect of identity-based negative thinking
Perhaps the most insidious aspect of how negative thoughts control us is their tendency to become part of our identity.
What begins as thoughts about our behavior or circumstances gradually transforms into beliefs about who we are fundamentally.
- “I made a mistake” becomes “I’m a failure.”
- “I feel anxious” becomes “I’m an anxious person.”
- “I’m having a hard time” becomes “I’m weak.”
This transformation from behavior to identity is profound because it changes the nature of our relationship with negative experiences.
When we see negative thoughts as temporary states, we maintain hope for change. When we see them as permanent traits, we lose our sense of agency and possibility.
The language we use to describe our experiences plays a crucial role in this transformation.
Notice the difference between saying:
“I’m feeling depressed” versus “I’m depressed,” or “I’m having anxious thoughts” versus “I’m an anxious person.”
The first formulation maintains some distance between our core self and our current experience…
